Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
