No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
