My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
