clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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