Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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