Redeem this text for a blowjob
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
