please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
