The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
