i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
