hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
