Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
