She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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