you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
