When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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