We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
