Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
