Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
