The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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