the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
