So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
