Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
