If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
