Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
