Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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