We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
