We won't sleep together?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
