If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
