the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
