Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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