Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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