woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
false alarm, still single
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
