Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
