thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bring me that man meat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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