i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
