Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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