i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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