I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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