haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
