dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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