hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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