Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
