so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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