can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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