Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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