my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
