Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
