Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
