I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think your dad took our porno
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
