So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
