I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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