I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Sober January is a disaster.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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